Mom Guilt Is The Worst

No matter what the reason, we’ve all experienced Mom Guilt at some point in our lives. The most recent for me has been….NURSING! I really contemplated whether or not to write a post about this for fear of being judged. But I figured, if I was feeling this, I’m sure a million other moms are going through the same thing!

With Turner I had no problems. He ate just fine, and I nursed him for a year. Gracie is a bit different! She isn’t as big of an eater. She takes in about 2 oz per feeding and I nurse her 6 times a day. She’s now 5 months old and has gone from the 15th percentile for weight, to the 6th! My ped wasn’t worried because she’s super happy and sleeps like a champ. He just told me to keep an eye on her weight.

When she was born, I was pumping, in addition to nursing her, and produced at least 5 or 6 oz each time. So I was able to stock up the freezer! Last week, I noticed my freezer stash had dwindled down quite a bit! I nearly had a panic attack! It never occurred to me that I would run out of breast-milk! What’s happened is, because she doesn’t eat that much while I nurse her, I only pump about 2 ounces. When I give her a pumped bottle, I use 4 ounces. So, I’m not producing enough to replenish my freezer supply. And, over the months, it finally added up!

I started asking my mom friends what sort of formula they use. I had all different options to read up on. Last week, Gracie and I took a stroll through Target to read the ingredients and compare every formula created. Enter the dreaded Mom Guilt. I literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the store. So many thoughts…Gracie is so tiny, how can I put anything so unnatural into her body? I have failed as a mother! How could I do this to her and not Turner? I mean, look at this face!

So, before going down the formula road, I tried (and still do) these options (ask your Dr before doing anything because clearly I’m not one!):

          1. Drink a crap ton of water
          2. Eat more!
          3. Mother’s Milk Herbal Tea
          4. Fenugreek Seed Capsules
          5. Lactation Cookies. Honestly, I will probably eat these for the rest of my life because they’re delicious. Eat 5 cookies a day? SURE! The key ingredient in these is Brewer’s Yeast

So, after trying natural remedies (and I’m still not giving up by the way), talking with friends who know how granola I am, and lots of praying, I decided to give myself a break. I’m in a different place than I was three years ago when Turner was a baby. I didn’t have a toddler and I didn’t own a business. So, what I will do is nurse her like normal and pump like normal. On the days I give her a bottle, I mix 2 oz of breast-milk with 2 oz of Honest Formula because to me, some breast-milk is better than none!

So, for those of you who really put pressure on yourselves to be perfect, give yourselves a break! We have a million and one things to accomplish in a day. Being hard on ourselves shouldn’t be one of them! And at the end of the day, loving our babies is the most important part!

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  1. Suzi says

    You go Momma!!! I felt the same guilt and had the same dwindling supply when I turned to work. The stress of not producing enough and returning to work during the busiest time of year made me a total basket case. After about three weeks of me teetering on the edge of insanity, my husband finally said “you can’t even enjoy this new baby because you are so crazy!”. I heard him loud and clear! We made a gradual switch to formula and never looked back. You have to do what is best for you at the given time. 🙂

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  1. […] as with Turner. I ended up making the switch to formula at 9 months (more about that transition HERE). I did have some guilt with that but ultimately knew it was the best decision for all of […]

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